Yes, there are times when we have prayed, lifted thought, felt buoyed by quotes or videos, friends or publications . There are other times when nothing fits, thoughts can’t be lifted, ideas don’t come, there is a big fat nothing inspiring us.
In those moments even the smallest effort towards spirituality can seem impossible. Many of us have had these times. I did. You can cut and paste your own issue in here, because it doesn’t matter what or why it is.
I had no more questions, I had exhausted those. I had no more requests, they felt unanswered. I had no more to lift myself with, I was empty. I couldn’t ‘get’ it.
I did seem to have energy to just to go God and wait, staying quiet and asking for nothing, expecting nothing. It was a place of peace. Like it says in the Bible:
‘Draw nigh unto God and he will draw nigh unto you’
Things didn’t change, they didn’t shift at all, things around me got worse. But my ability to be calm and stay in the present moment with God did work. He did draw nigh unto me. I did have times where I just cried with frustration, when the next round of nonsense showed up, of course, but it was short-lived. I returned to God’s arms. I drew nigh to Him. Without expectation. I got accustomed to just doing that several times a day I stopped asking why, judging myself for lack of understanding, wishing I was better ‘at it’, wanting to know what else I could do etc. I moved away from self-condemnation, doubt and fear. I gave it all up. It wasn’t helping.
I am still in this place, and I suspect I will always be now that I have got here. It’s easier than ranting or wailing or wanting to fling cups of tea at the wall. I wanted to write from this place, because it is a good place, it is a safe place and a peaceful place. And really that’s all we need. No matter what is going on.
What’s going to happen now? I dunno. What should I do next? Haven’t a clue. Are things going to change? No use asking me.
It’s okay in Nigh-town. It is the healing. What can be better than finding one’s home base. A foundation of such love and care. Anything else is added value. I don’t need to know anything else because God is just there all the time. If He wants to let me know something He will, if He wants to guide me I will hear. And that applies to all of us sincere seekers of Truth. I am just going to stay Nigh to God, and not get caught up in anything else. Every new day is another day in God’s care. A new day to be glad, give thanks and rejoice. Whatever else going on.